I need a vacation!!!

My office is choking me. Why does it seem after an extended absence the walls seem to move closer together? To make matters worse I have a rather large window up here on the 7th floor so I can watch the outside world taunt me while I’m confined in here chained to my desk. Vacations are supposed to recharge you so you can clock in for the next 50 weeks or so with a full but slowly draining battery. Yet they always without fail end up making me angry. Not just because I end up spending a couple of weeks crammed into hotel rooms and vans with the one person who actually inspires me to want to be in my office….my wife…….nope not because of that but because I realize that beyond the ugly brick building blocking my otherwise decent view of the city there is so much more going on that Id rather do. So many people that Id rather…..you get the message. It’s just so hard to get back into work after being away for so long. The evil red message light blinks with seemingly more intensity….like it could actually be holding back angry clients. The email inbox overflows, spilling junk mail and inappropriate jokes onto the office floor. And yet the most pressing matter on my mind is planning my Next trip to Vegas and LA. Perhaps it’s my work ethic that sucks. In fact I know damn well it’s my work ethic that sucks. Unless someone was willing to pay me to oil down beautiful women before nude photo shoots I don’t think there is a job on this planet that I would want to do. And I’ve tried getting the oil boy job the best I could get was washing the Winnipeg Blue Bombers Jocks after games. Not quite what I was hoping for and the hours sucked. I’ve also tried offering my services as a freelance gynecologist but so far no takers. Speaking of gynecologists I have to ask how is it possible for a person to be that serious about a job looking at vaginas all day. I mean professional or not don’t you think the Dr. still gets a little….umm…..unprofessional at times. Sure he has to stay technical and pretend he has no personal interest in your fully exposed body but come on…do you believe that’s the case? And if it’s true that these guys really have no interest in vaginas anymore how does that impact them in the bedroom at home? Do dr’s talk all technical in bed…..”Ok darling now hold still, I’ll need you to bend your knees a little…now I am going to apply some lubrication to your labia…just scootch up on the bed a little ..your going to feel some pressure……it’s just my penis being inserted into your vagina” Damn that’s actually kind of sexy…I need to date a dr. I think, preferably a female one of course.