Can't I just buy them Candy and stay home!!!!!

I woke up this morning and it didn’t feel like a Friday. That whole surge of positive emotion that revolves around having made it through another week without putting any bullet holes through upper management was missing. Had I shot my boss and blacked it all out…..nope…no such luck there she is at her desk pretending not to play solitaire. What is it then…what is causing this overwhelming dread? The weekend is here I’m supposed to feel free and alive and then…..I looked at my calendar…..October 31. Fucking Halloween!!!! As a kid Halloween and Christmas were the only 2 days of the year that really mattered, birthdays were alright too but back then parents didn’t feel the need to top all the other parents in the neighborhood by putting on bigger and better parties. When I was a kid a goodie bag had a balloon a whistle and some gum. My kids return from parties with entertainment systems and Microsoft stock. So the only 2 days that really really mattered where Christmas and Halloween. As an adult Christmas has survived…I still love it, but Halloween is like that one guest who comes on Christmas that you just want to take out back and pound the shit out of with a roasting pan until they vow never to return again. Ok I admit it, I’m a Halloween Grinch. Don’t get me wrong I love the whole costume bit but I live in Winnipeg….affectionately known throughout my country as Winterpeg….and for a reason. It’s damn cold here. The kids get stuffed into so many layers of sweaters and such that by the time we squeeze their costume over top they’ve gone from being Batman to being Batman after Marriage. From Barbie to Barbie after 5 kids. I’m sure it’s hard to feel heroic when your batman looks like all he’s saved is food from being wasted. And how much Candy do you really need any way. My kids are insane they’d stay out banging on doors until Christmas Eve if we didn’t reel them in. So tonight I’ll plaster on my “look how cute my kid is” smile and trudge from door to door. The sound of my 4 year old saying twick or tweet will go from cute to let me go home by about the 5th house. But the kids love it so for all they know tonight I will love it too. But secretly I’ll be done when we walk out the door and I will not be happy until the kids are tucked in bed and I can steal their candy as they sleep. Did I mention I happen to love the day after Halloween? Yes I like the Candy, I hate the work. Happy Halloween!