Lego is evil

Like many people I often find myself wondering why our society is so obsessed with celebrities. People like Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie absorb so much of our TV viewing time already with the crappy shows and movies they churn out so why so much tabloid journalism? Do we really need to see Paris hopping into her car after dinner on Melrose? I usually find myself pondering these questions as I sit and watch the latest episode of TMZ. So there you have it, the answer is within the question. Why do they put so much of this crap on our televisions and newsstands...because we want to see it. How could I not watch this stuff with so many celebrities’s hoping in and out of cars without panties on. If ladies in my city caught on to this trend Id quit my job and become a valet. Of course not everyone watching is waiting for a cheap glimpse of Britanys real claim to fame. It's certainly not her musical talent. What’s with that song Gimmie more? Are there any lyrics besides..."gimmie gimme more"? All I can think of is "gimmie gimme more...bullets", so I can put a couple into her skull. I am going to get way off track if I stay on this topic....my point was I do know why people watch these shows. It's the same reason why part of you might secretly like it when your coworker DOESN'T get that promotion. We feel better about ourselves when others fail. Especially those who are supposed to be on top. Envy....its such a dirty word isn't it, envy is for the weak. We shouldn’t care what others have going for them in life right? We should be happy with what we have. Yeah ok sure but you know what I like Envy. I happen to think Envy is a strong motivator. It's easy to settle when you have no basis for comparison. My neighbors all drive minivans but if they all suddenly were hoping into sports cars I know Id be trying to convince my wife that we could just stack the kids in the trunk and get a Porsche. At least then I wouldn’t have cheerios and crayons all over my vehicle, just the trunk. We could just stack the kids in and pour a box of cheerios on top. It would certainly make road trips a lot quieter. And when exactly did my vehicle become a mobile toy box any way? When I tell the kids to go play and they grab my car keys you know we have a problem. I think we need to keep toys in the house, it's too easy for road rage to seep in when you have a piece of Lego stuck up your ass and crayons whizzing by your head at 40 miles an hour. I think I need some ADD medication, I get off topic way to easily. I can't even remember what this rant is all about. All I can think about now is how Lego is an evil toy. I honestly believe that Lego was invented by the devil. It never ever gets completely put away there’s always that one piece lurking somewhere....just waiting for its next victim. You ever step on a piece of that stuff at 2 am barefoot? I swear the army should stop investing in bullets and just dump a shit load of Lego all over Iraq. Id rather have to pass an 8 pound kidney stone then step on a piece of Lego at 2 am. There’s a man outside my window!?!?!? I guess its ok because he's washing it but no one gave me advance warning that this would be happening. My office is on the 7th floor so the last thing I was expecting was this. I've never been in my office while the window was being squeegeed. What’s the etiquette on this? Do I hand him $5 and thank him? Is it unprofessional for me to pull down my pants and moon him? Damn too late now he's already gone to the 6th floor. Now if I open my window and start shaking his ropes how mad will he be? I really needed this guy to come by today, I was hating my job but now I see it could always be worse. You'd never catch me scaling down the side of a building cleaning windows. Id only make them dirtier as Id be pounding on every one screaming let me in. This guy must have king kong size balls to do a job like that. I bet he steps on Lego and doesn't even flinch. Damn am I envious.