My 3 year old is trying to kill me.

I am feeling much much better today. An early morning orgasm will do that for me every time. Of course sometimes the other people on the bus get pissed off but hey read your damn newspaper and leave me alone with my thoughts. Actually I was feeling much better about 5 minutes after I posted yesterdays rant about child rapists. I got a lot of interesting comments and letters from people on that one. Most supporting my position and others telling me that God will judge them in the afterlife. Call me impatient (Or an atheist) but I cannot wait for God to move. I think it's our job here on this planet to act. As far as human rights activists? Let them speak for those who deserve to have human rights because as far as I’m concerned once you violate another’s human rights you have given up the right to yours. That’s enough of that though. What I wanted to talk about today is a much lighter topic.....serial killers. We'll move on to abortion and religion later. You know although I was just kidding here, I’m going to do an abortion post in the near future and pay careful attention to how much my friends list dwindles after that. But for now....serial killers it is. They always say...after some guy has been found with rugs made of human hair in his basement....."I never would have suspected he'd do something like that". Or "he was such a quiet man". So the implication is watch your back because you never know who could be skipping corn flakes in the morning in favor of the mailman’s kidneys. I disagree. I think there are always warning signs and I think they start showing quite early on. In fact I think my 3 yr old is a future serial killer!!!! No time outs for this kid....I need to stay on his good side. Seriously this is one deranged little 3 year old......it started once he learned to walk....he quickly graduated to jumping off his bunk bed for fun. Seriously this little psycho would climb up to the top bunk and hurtle himself off...laughing as he bounced off the floor. I kept hoping he'd break an arm....that’s one trial learning right there. I can say stop 2 dozen times and move his bed permanently into time out and the only way this lesson is getting learned is on the way to the emergency room. I love my kids I really do and I know everyone loves to praise how great and wonderful it is to be a parent but come on....I have 5 kids sell that shit somewhere else. Kids are dumb and you know it. And the worst part is you're raising them so you have no one to blame for how stupid they are but yourself!!! How else can you explain someone whose logic tells them "ok dad said I couldn’t kick my brother anymore.....so I’m going to hit him with this hockey stick". See what I mean I think all 3 yr olds are serial killers in the making. They all have that serial killer mind set. Don't listen to all those people who love to brag about how little Johnny was speaking in full sentences as he came out of the womb!!! There's always those one up people......"my kid walked at 11 months", "oh yeah my kid walked out of my vagina and asked whats for dinner". Yeah everyone claims their kids are geniuses but in reality I think they all just want to kill us. If your kid walked 3 months earlier than mine congratulations he's in a bigger hurray to slit your throat while you sleep. At about 2 and 1/2 mine threw a plate at his older brother’s head resulting in a cut which required stitches. So I tried to balance things out. I figured lets give him a few dolls for Christmas. Thinking he would learn empathy through nurturing the dolls. Instead he made a necklace out of their arms. Be afraid be very afraid!!! I’m starting to fear him...the other day I said Dylan time for bed....and he starred me down until I gave in. And the worst sign....he was stung by a wasp the other day. Apparently we have a nest in our backyard. I said "Don't worry Dylan daddy is going to get rid of all the Wasp's” And in a sweet sugary little 3 year old voice he said..."Daddy.........I want you to cut off their penises". So now I’m thinking do we start play therapy now or wait for him to start setting fire to his sister’s hamster? Ok so he didn't really make a necklace out of the dolls arms..but still at this point I’m thinking he could go either way. He'll either be the next Charlie Manson or he'll go into politics.