Dr. Davis Telephone please…

Hospitals are a lot more fun if you wear a white coat and a stethoscope. That’s all you need...a white coat and a stethoscope and a whole new world of wonder and magic emerges before you. All my fantasies of day to day living become reality by adding those amazing items to my wardrobe. I walk into an examination room and there’s a gorgeous woman sitting there.....I ask...."what seems to be troubling you today"....she says "I'm having some pain in my chest"......you need to understand the importance of that last statement......it means that not only is there a God....he wants me to see this ladies boobies and that’s ok in my book.......so I say, "Ok I’m going to need you to remove you shirt and bra and rub these ice cubes on your nipples". Another room and another pretty lady, "ok miss I’m going to need you to remove your skirt and panties and put your legs in these stirrups"......."But Dr. I’m only here because of an ear ache". Nothing is off limits in the hospital when you’re wearing that coat and stethoscope. So I understand now why a person would subject himself to an extra 15 yrs of school...its a hefty admission price for this magical wonderland but it is well worth it. For the rest of us though the hospital is not such a lovely place......especially not for those being molested by fake doctors. But even beside that let’s face it hospitals suck. I spent yesterday morning at one and all I could think about (besides nurse fantasy’s) was how even work seemed like a better option at that point. What’s with nurse fantasies anyway? Don’t get me wrong I understand the concept from the patients point of view but do we really think some nurse is wandering around the hospital thinking, "wow I wish I could have some sick sneezing, coughing, half dead assholes cock in my mouth right now” I somehow don’t think as many cocks are getting sucked by nurses as Id like there to be. There’s definitely one less than Id like. Time moves slowly when your stuck in a room with 30 other people infested with god knows what coughing and sneezing at you. Then the Dr. asks "what's troubling you today"....."Well before I came in it was my arm but god only knows what the fuck else I caught in that waiting room". At least I hope it was a Dr. and not someone else trying to sneak into the magical wonderland side of the hospital....come to think of it did he really need to check my prostate?........that fucker!!!!You know the worst part though? I get my prescriptions and make the mistake of reading the information on the medicine. You know all those "May cause".....warnings......a lot of those May cause's are worse then the symptoms that im trying to get rid of! I got a bad cough and this shit says "May cause not only diarrhea, nausea, vomiting and nosebleeds but also "in rare cases", vision problems, unusual hair growth, thinning skin, and swelling of the face". Suddenly the cough I have seems sexy.....let’s just keep that one. Unusual hair growth and facial swelling?!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me...what good is getting rid of a cough if you end up looking like the result of Bigfoot and the elephant man fucking? The medical industry is the only industry that can get away with this shit. Can you imagine if others tried? Would you take your car in for an oil change if there was a slight possibility they'd smash your windshield? On the plus side the Dr. did tell me to take a few days off work and get some rest.....of course in order to come to that conclusion he had to stick his cock in me......apparently it's a new medical procedure.....you know im starting to think maybe I really was molested. I knew something was up too when he told me to remove my shirt and rub ice cubes on my nipples.