Teenage love and baby photos

You know when you're dating and you meet the parents for the first time? They always do the same thing....pull out the baby photos right? How cute......bullshit.....what a dirty fucking trick if you ask me. I don’t know about you but how am I suppose to follow through with my romantic plans for the evening. Plans to tie her legs behind her head and sweet things like that. How can you do that once you’re staring at her in a diaper? That just completely fucks with my mind and I know that’s the plan too....I know it even more now that I have my own daughters. I didn't know it was intentional back then. Had I know it back then I would have got the parents back...I would have banged her anyway and had her wear a diaper while I was doing it! I just thought the parents were proud of their little princess. Now im older and wiser and I realize how could they be proud of her when she's bringing home guys like me? I didn't even have a car! "What time you gonna have our little princess home"..."I don't know I'll have to check the bus schedule". The Bus?!?!? Im thinking as a parent that’s when you gotta know your daughters a little slob. If she doesn’t even have the class to demand to be hammered in the back of a car...im thinking she’s not going to be marrying a Doctor! It takes a special kind of woman to put out on the back of the bus. Never mind the baby pictures, at that point you have to break out pictures of her sick with the flu, or with diaper rash......maybe show the guy some pictures of cocks exploding...whatever it takes to make him think twice. The Bus?!?!?! Never mind her...at this point you're just thinking about his well being!!!I actually can't wait till my daughters start dating. I will terrorize the boys that come over like no one has ever terrorized teenage boys (with the exception of Michael Jackson of course). If those boys think puberty and algebra are hard wait till they have to get through me. I actually contemplated naming my daughter Chlamydia just to keep some of the boys at bay! I say some because I know boys and even a name like that wouldn’t make them all think twice. Don't get me wrong Im not going to be mean or anything like that. Im just not going to pretend I don’t know why they're there. No teenage boy is going to convince me he just wants my daughters company. I know the way we operate. Its not about the conversation...it’s about how many fingers can I get inside her panties before the theatre lights comeback on!!! I've already told my daughters that when it comes to relationships they have to be really careful. The truth is women are not mature enough to handle a real relationship until they're about 17. And men aren't ready until they're at least 35. As much as that’s a joke there’s some truth to it. I tend to believe that the first hundred or so sexual experiences a guy has are for his buddies. He needs those so he can feel like he's the man! "Look at me and all the action I get....Im so cool". The next 900 or so are for him. We barely even know you ladies are there until 2 minutes later and we're all done and wondering why you’re nudging us..."what....what....your turn?" You simply cannot have a serious relationship with a guy when he's still trying to convince you to do anything he saw in a porno movie. And then after that first 1000 or so times we may begin to think "hey...if I don’t want her doing this with every single delivery man who comes near her I better actually try to put on a show". All of a sudden we learn that pulling down our zipper doesn’t constitute foreplay..and perhaps tying her feet behind her head isn’t romantic after all. I suppose I really shouldn’t say I won’t be mean to these boys who make the mistake to come calling for my daughters....after all one of my goals is to make them cry before the date begins. My other goal is to convince at least a few of them not to ever get married....not to even date. Save your money for hookers and video games I'll tell them. You'll thank me in the long run.