If you don't stop it you'll go blind

Last night I saw a woman with a hunchback. You need to understand....to me this is like seeing a ghost or Jesus or witnessing a female orgasm.....these are just things that I didn't believe existed. I know you’re not supposed to stare at things like this but how often do you see a hunchback out in public any way? Of course the second I got home I had no choice, I absolutely had to go online and Google search "Hunchback Porn". Sure enough......if you build it they will cum.

That is the beauty and at the same time the most frightening thing about the internet. You can find anything you want. If your particular fetish happens to be watching midgets dressed like penguins poking each other in the doo doo hole its there for your viewing pleasure. I wrote a note a long long time ago titled, "The risks of too much porn". If you read it you know there’s no longer any hope for me. I discovered that myself one day when I typed something and the internet didn’t have it. You know your porn tastes are pretty fucked up if the internet can't accommodate you. I hold out hope that one day though I will find that amputee nun porn I was seeking that fateful day I discovered I was in serious need of therapy.

Don't get me wrong these are not things I want to view while enthusiastically smacking around my penis. In fact I’m even a little uncomfortable myself when while viewing these things my Penis wakes up and wants to say hello. Its just something you HAVE to see....you don’t want to but you HAVE to!!! Like a car accident, if half of someone’s face is laying on the sidewalk you want to be able to tell others how fucked up it was to witness that. If someone leaked a porno tape of Will Smith and Barack Obama having kinky homosexual ear sex.....you'd Google it.

Seeing this hunchback got me thinking......and I realized id really like to fuck a hunchback. Any one can bang a hot chick...half the time hot chicks are boring in bed anyway.....like they think they don't have to put in any effort because they're doing me a favor. Some fucking favor too at $250 an hour!!!! Any way I’m thinking having sex with a hunchback would be like riding a teeter totter. I guess if you were going down on a hunchback she'd have no choice but to sit up and watch you?

See this is what happens when you watch too much porn. It warps your entire world view. I can't even talk to people...its like an evil superpower.....everything I hear is turned into something perverted. "Oh your uncle's in the hospital because he had a stroke?.........well fuck next time tell him not to pull so hard"........."Oh you bought a new pool cue?.....yeah check it out it has a really smooth shaft". Don't even get me started on hockey announcers....."....and Getzlaf is rammed hard from behind.......the puck comes loose.....Crosby gets his stick on it.....he's got good hands.... Crosby's in deep but he cant get a shot off.....Penner Rides him into the corner......he's getting double teamed.....he got in there too tight......Crosby breaks loose.....he winds up....and he stuffs it in!!!!!"

I’m too far gone for therapy, too many words that could set me off....."and how are you feeling today"....."same as I always do....I use my hands". I think the only answer is to fully embrace my sexual deviancy until it runs its course. I only hope in the meantime I don’t end up impregnating a midget hunchback while watching a hockey game. But now that I mention it....that is something Id have to see!