There are no Glory Holes in care-a-lot.

You would think there’d be an abundance of glory holes in care-a-lot, especially when there are care bears with the names hugs and tugs. What exactly is tugs job up there? I have studied the care bears more than anyone can imagine, I have closely watched every single episode and I have never once seen even a hint that they had glory holes in care a lot. Obviously they don’t care as much as they let on.

I am always on the look out for glory holes, not because im deranged enough to stick my penis in one but because I have an unhealthy fear of glory holes. I am terrified that one day I will have to use a public restroom and it’s a race to beat the clock, one of those, “it’s going to be a photo finish” ones. So Im running around trying to find a restroom and when I do I settle in and suddenly there’s a knock on the side of the stall. I drag my eyes from the checker pattern tile on the floor, slowly up the side of the stall. Past, “For a good time call Sarah”, continuing on upward until I spot it…right between a swastika and a piece of gum…….the glory hole!

I have nightmares of me sitting there trying desperately to plug the glory hole…covering it with my hand only to be met with fierce resistance. Me crying while some strange penis is bouncing up and down on my palm like a trampoline. The nightmare only gets worse….suddenly glory holes start sprouting up all around me….im trapped in the stall trying to keep the penises out like im playing a game of porno whack-a-mole. I did come in there for a reason though…..im going to need that hand in order to get out of here….so then im cleaning myself up and dodging penises like Keanu Reeves in the matrix.

I wonder who it was that discovered the glory hole. Some guy sees one and thinks I wonder what would happen if I stuffed my cock in that hole….and then the other guy gets poked in the head and figures I’ve got nothing better to do may as well place some loving kisses on this strangers cock.

Although I have never encountered a glory hole I know already that I do not like them. My mother always told me not to judge something until you’ve tried it yourself but im sure she couldn’t have meant glory holes. As soon as the care bears is over I’ll call and ask her.