A few clowns short of a circus.

It amazes me how our idea of entertainment continues to change no matter how much we don’t want it to. Once upon a time in various parts of this great world you could watch two men called gladiators fight to the death, you could eat popcorn and cheer on a public hanging, and once upon a time, somewhere, at some point, I’m almost sure of it…circuses were entertaining. Congratulations PETA you have succeeded in fucking up a previously enjoyable day out for the family. The circus used to be the dog’s bollocks!!! Where am I going to get my animal cruelty fix now? I suppose I’ll have to be content with going to the zoo and throwing rocks at the monkeys. Don’t condemn me too quickly lets face it, no matter how barbaric we think the gladiator days were we still….every single one of us in that audience…are hoping that today is the day that acrobat’s reach isn’t quite what it needs to be. That’s why the circus was fun, the fear element, the what if factor. Where’s the excitement now? Ooooo what if that juggler drops his plastic hoop? Fuck it might bounce up and strike him in the knee. And this particular circus not only had no acrobats, the closest they came to an animal was the pig dressed up in tight pants climbing around on these curtain looking things. Look I know Cirque du Soleil is the big thing now but I can see all these moves and more at the local strip club with the added bonus of big bouncing beautiful boobs in all their glory. I’m sorry but I think you need animals at a circus; otherwise I could just buy my kids some cheap toys at the dollar store and drag them downtown where the street performers are earning money for crack. Look kids here’s the circus, some of the more strung out addicts could even pass for clowns. As a child the highlight of the circus every year was when the elephant would release one or more bodily fluids during the act. I don’t think they can match that without the elephant, at least not at a G-Rated show. Now there’s an idea Porno circus that’s something I could support with or without the animals! “LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, can I direct your attention to the centre ring, where the amazing Lola will jerk off 9 guys while blindfolded and drinking a glass of water” I’ve heard the arguments against circuses they say they are cruel to the animals and so on and so on, the way I see it if that lion wasn’t working the circus circuit he’d be off in a jungle chewing on a zebras face, so we’re saving the zebras at least. Plus there’s the added thrill that at any moment that lions going to say to himself “one more crack with that whip and I’m biting off this guys left elbow”. I’m sure even the PETA knobs would love to see that.